Oh, the joy of a good plan.
If you’re anything like me, a fellow working parent navigating the beautiful chaos of family life, work demands, and the endless “life stuff,” then planning is your ultimate comfort blanket. It’s that well-organised corner of your brain where everything feels manageable, where the ducks are (mostly) in a row.
Lists are, comfortingly, everywhere. Calendars are colour-coded with military precision. You feel that glorious, fleeting sense of having this whole juggle-struggle thing under control.
We planners map out our days, our weeks, our precious summer holidays, anticipating adventures and feeling a little satisfaction that, yes, we’ve got this.
And then, just when you think you’ve nailed it all, life happens.
Sometimes, life doesn’t just throw a gentle curveball; it throws a whole bowling alley at you, pins and all.
My current, rather disorienting adventure into the realm of the unexpected has been a sudden, random, and utterly bewildering bout of vertigo.
Imagine constantly feeling as though you’re on a listing ship. It’s like being tipsy but with none of the fun parts. The world spins, your balance is off, and even simple tasks become feats of will. It’s safe to say that my meticulously planned summer holiday adventures with my energetic 6-year-old son have been put firmly on pause. The thought of navigating a crowded place while feeling like I’m constantly about to topple over is, frankly, terrifying.
This unexpected turn has accelerated something that I’ve been actively trying to embrace: getting comfortable with throwing plans out of the window. Because as much as planning helps us feel in control, creating a sense of order in our busy lives, the unvarnished truth is that life will always find a way to surprise you. And sometimes, those surprises mean you need to pivot, to adapt, to let go, and to master the often-uncomfortable but entirely necessary art of the re-plan. It’s a skill, I’m learning, that’s just as vital as the planning itself.
So, for those moments when the universe decides to introduce a plot twist you definitely didn’t sign up for, here’s a little “re-planning checklist” from one working parent who knows the feeling of a listing ship (both literally and metaphorically) to another:
Your Juggle Struggle Re-Plan Checklist: Navigating the Unexpected
1. Do you really need to cancel that booking?
Before you hit that dreaded ‘cancel’ button on an app or draft a guilt-ridden email, take a deep breath. Can you email or call the venue, activity provider, or even the friend you made plans with, to see if you can simply move the booking to a different date? It is always worth asking, especially if you’ve already paid money or if it’s a popular slot you worked hard to secure.
Often, places are more understanding than you imagine, especially for family-related reasons. Keeping it open-ended, if possible, rather than setting a new firm date immediately, can give you precious flexibility down the line when you’re still unsure of your new timeline.
If money has been paid, could someone else take your place?
This one is often a long shot, especially if it’s genuinely short notice, but it’s worth a quick scroll through your contacts. A friend who might have wanted to go anyway? A family member who lives nearby? Sometimes, it just isn’t realistic, and you’ll find yourself in the unenviable position of losing money on something you couldn’t do. And yes, that feels utterly rubbish.
Losing hard-earned cash on a missed opportunity feels like an extra kick in the teeth when you’re already feeling overwhelmed. But honestly, sometimes life sucks, and it’s okay to acknowledge that without letting it derail your entire day or week. Cut your losses, allow yourself to feel the sting, and then move on.
Don’t over-apologise when you have to cancel.
Nobody wants to read a five-paragraph WhatsApp explaining every single detail of why you can’t make it to that playdate or coffee meet-up. A simple, concise, yet polite message is usually more than enough. Something like, “So sorry, I won’t be able to make it today – something unexpected came up, and I need to re-arrange. Really sorry for the late notice!” is perfectly sufficient.
Remember, life happens to them too; they will understand. Over-explaining often just makes you feel worse, prolongs the awkwardness, and can even make the other person feel uncomfortable. “No” is a complete sentence, and so is a short, polite cancellation. Prioritise your energy for getting better (if illness is your problem) or finding your “next best option.”
What’s the next best option instead of Plan A?
This is where the true creative re-planning comes into its own. Your grand day out at the theme park might be off the table, but what’s the Plan B, C, or even D that’s still viable and offers a different kind of joy?
For me, with vertigo sidelining the big summer adventures, Plan B has quickly become “cosy, low-key indoor activities at home.” This means leaning into crafts or movie marathons (with minimal screen-time guilt, because these are exceptional circumstances!).
This is also where our trusty “ideas jar” comes into its own. It’s a literal jar filled with scraps of paper that contain ideas of things I know my son likes to do. Some are super simple suggestions like “do a puzzle” or “read a book”. Others are a bit more elaborate.
You never know what will spark a child’s imagination or feel just right for the moment. It’s about finding joy and connection in the unexpected alternative, even if it looks absolutely nothing like your original vision.
Practice self-compassion (and let go of the guilt).
This is perhaps the most crucial point. When plans unravel, especially due to something beyond your control like illness, it’s easy to fall into a trap of guilt.
Guilt for disappointing your child, guilt for letting down friends, guilt for not being “on it.” Resist this urge.
Life as a working parent is a constant dance between structure and spontaneity, between getting things done and letting things go. You are doing your best with the hand you’ve been dealt. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you’re dealing with a difficult situation, and give yourself the same grace and understanding you would offer a friend.
The ability to re-plan, adapt, and show yourself compassion in the face of curveballs isn’t a weakness; it’s a profound strength.
While planning undoubtedly brings a much-needed sense of order and comfort, the true superpower of a working parent lies in our ability to pivot and adapt when the unexpected hits.
We’re already masters of the juggle; now, let’s embrace becoming masters of the re-plan. It’s messy, it’s imperfect, but it’s real life. And learning to roll with it makes the ride a whole lot smoother.
What’s your best re-planning tip or a story of when your plans went spectacularly wrong (and how you salvaged it)? Share your insights in the comments below – we’re all in this wobbly ship together!
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