Working parents; hands up if you’ve ever had a daydreamy thought: “Wouldn’t it be amazing to [insert self-care activity here]?” Maybe it’s a quiet coffee date, a much-needed gym session, or even just 20 minutes of doing absolutely nothing.
Then parent-brain kicks in. It’s like a logistical ninja throwing a million questions at you. Each question is yet another hurdle between you and you-time: “Who’s on kid duty? School pickup chaos? What’s for dinner? Travel time with tiny humans? Is this even humanly possible?!” Suddenly, that lovely idea feels less like a treat and more like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.
As working parents, our mental load can often power a small city. Sometimes it feels easier to shelve the nice idea completely. Is it even worth it if we have to do all this work to get there?!
But here’s the thing we often forget in the whirlwind of work emails and school runs: you matter too. Your well-being isn’t some optional extra; it’s the fuel that keeps the whole amazing, chaotic show on the road. And sometimes, the trick to actually making it happen is to play a little mind game with ourselves.
Think about it another way. When your boss drops a critical project on your desk, do you just throw your hands up at the first sign of a challenge? Nope! You strategize, you might delegate (if you’re lucky!), and you map out the steps to get it done, deadline and all. The same goes for planning that epic Paw Patrol-themed birthday party. You become a logistical wizard, making sure every tiny detail is covered.
So, why not treat yourself with the same level of focused planning?
The “It’s Not About Me” Strategy / Jedi mind trick
(Yes, we’ve been watching a lot of Star Wars in our house lately.) Here’s a little secret weapon: Try pretending your self-care isn’t just for you. Think of it as an essential task that needs to be done, just like that work presentation or the school assembly costume design. This little mental switch can help bypass any feeling of guilt or selfishness that sometimes creeps in. Now those logistical hurdles become puzzles to solve, not roadblocks to surrender to.
Let’s Get Practical
- Block It Out: Seriously, open your calendar right now (yes, now!). Treat your self-care time like a non-negotiable meeting. “Thursday 7-8 pm: Sanity Hour.” Done. Now, work backward to figure out the logistics.
- Brain Dump the Barriers, Then Brainstorm Solutions: Instead of just feeling overwhelmed by all the “what ifs,” write them down. Then, for each barrier, jot down at least one potential solution. Childcare woes? Could you swap evenings with another parent, or call in a babysitter?
- Tiny Steps are Still Steps: Don’t feel like your self-care has to be a full-blown spa day. Sometimes, it’s just 15 minutes of quiet with a cuppa, a quick walk around the block, or listening to your favorite song uninterrupted. Small wins still count!
- Automate the Mundane, Liberate Your Time: Where can you shave off some time? Could you do online grocery shopping? Automate financial tasks? Even small automations can free up precious minutes for you.
- Don’t Be a Lone Ranger: Ask for Backup! Talk to your partner, your family, your friends. Let them know you need some dedicated time. You might be surprised by the willingness to help.
- Lower the Perfection Bar (It’s Okay, Really!): Your “me time” doesn’t need to be picture-perfect. Sometimes, good enough is perfect. Don’t let the pressure of creating a flawless experience become another thing to stress about.
You’re Doing Amazing, Now Let’s Add “You Time” to the Mix!
Being a working parent is a marathon, not a sprint. You pour so much energy into your family and your career. It’s not selfish to carve out a little time to recharge. By tackling those pesky logistics head-on and maybe even tricking your brain a little, you can make self-care (and a bit of fun!) a regular part of your life. You deserve it, and honestly, a happier, more rested you benefits everyone around you too.
Juggle Struggle blog 