Back in the early days of parenting, I used to prioritize sleep as much as I could. I was a big believer in “sleep when the baby sleeps,” and my nap game was strong. When I went back to work, I figured that sleep was just as important for recharging my batteries as a newly working parent. But why didn’t I feel recharged even when I did get some good sleep?
Turns out that proper ‘rest’ and recharging may not be as simple as getting more sleep. I stumbled upon Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s breakdown of seven types of rest. The Dr believes that there are different categories of rest that we need to get to truly recharge. They break down into:
- Physical – This includes sleep, but also gentle movement, stretching, and massage.
- Mental – This involves taking breaks from mental stimulation, practicing mindfulness, and finding moments of quiet.
- Emotional – This means creating space to express and process emotions, and feeling safe to be vulnerable.
- Social – This involves spending time with supportive people who energize us.
- Sensory – This means minimizing exposure to excessive noise, light, and other sensory stimuli.
- Creative – This involves engaging in activities that ignite our creativity and imagination.
- Spiritual – This means connecting with something larger than ourselves, whether through religion, nature, or meditation.
I could definitely understand the theory behind this idea. I have experienced different types of ‘tiredness’ without being physically sleepy. For example, if I’ve done a lot of speaking to people, I do feel the need to not speak to people for a while; social rest. Also, if I’ve spent a good chunk of time writing, my ‘writing battery’ gets depleted; so then I need creative rest.
I think there’s an eighth type of rest that needs adding to this list: parental rest. Having true relief from the demands of parenting (especially young) children is really important for me. Parenting is by far the most intense of all activities that I do.
You are constantly concentrating and giving as a parent. You’re making sure that they are safe, they are fed, they are learning, they are exploring their feelings, they are developing life skills and how to cope with the world. You’re making sure they feel loved, that you push them a little out of their comfort zone now and then, that they’re having fun.
Giving so much of your focus to a tiny human being for most of the time can be draining! Parental rest is not having to worry about if they’re about to fall off that climbing frame or choke on a grape or see something they shouldn’t on the tv. It’s an enormous weight off, and I do find it helps me feel recharged, even if it’s just for a little while.
Parental rest involves a complete mental and emotional detachment from the constant vigilance that parenting demands. It’s the ability to let go of the “what ifs” and the ever-present awareness of your child’s needs. This type of rest allows for a genuine reset, where you can focus on your own well-being without the added pressure of parental responsibility.
This could mean a few hours of uninterrupted solitude, time spent with friends who understand, or even a brief escape into a hobby that allows you to reconnect with your own identity. It’s not just about physical absence from your children, but also about a mental and emotional break.
Easier said than done to get some parental rest though, for that you really need your ‘village’. Any way that you can factor it into your schedule, even for an hour, I think all of us parents should – without feeling guilty. It’s good for us to feel recharged and refreshed to go back and be a great parent again. Prioritizing parental rest isn’t selfish; it’s essential for sustainable and joyful parenting. It allows us to return to our roles with renewed energy, patience, and love.
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