You think going back to work after having a baby is about adjusting to a new routine don’t you?
Wrong.
Let’s take a look at all of the transitions that take place when you go back to work after maternity leave. Then it will be more obvious why it’s so RUDDY hard and why we should cut ourselves some slack. All the slack.
You are getting used to the new logistics
This is the part everyone knows about. After some time away from work, it can be a shock to the system having to get up, get everyone ready, and get everyone where they need to be on a fixed time schedule.
Your whole weekly routine will be changed, which you were probably expecting, but that’s not the only change going on here…
Your child is getting used to a new childcare situation
Your little person may also have a bit of a shock going from having your undivided attention, to being apart from you more. They may also have different grown-ups taking care of them, possibly in a new place too.
Some kids are totally chill about this. Some aren’t. Either way, they’re adjusting too and you’ll feel it. (See my blog post about separation anxiety here).
You are getting used to your child’s new childcare situation and not being with them all the time
You might feel that going back to work is a real wrench away from your baby. So, you’ll miss them loads.
You might have thought that you couldn’t wait to have more grown up time, and then feel surprised that you miss your kid as much as you do.
You might feel jealous that other grown ups are spending quality time with your little one instead of you.
You’re adjusting to being a mum away from your child here, and that’s another change.
Your child is having whatever transition they are due to have for their age
Let’s not forget that our little babies and toddlers are developing so rapidly that they’re going through transitions all the time!
Teething. Sleep regressions. Weaning. Crawling. Walking. Talking. Terrible twos. Threenager.
The list goes on – and no doubt one (or some!) of these transitions will be taking place at the same time as you going back to work. Change is constant.
You are getting used to the new version of you at work
You are a changed person when you go back to work after having a baby, and you probably won’t realise it.
The way you felt about work before might have changed a lot. You might give considerably less fucks.
Before, you might have poured over every email making it perfect. Now you might just about drum up one line.
You might have always instigated the after work drinks, and now you’re out that door for nursery pickup quicker than you can say ‘tequila’.
It can be unsettling this feeling, of being in a familiar environment but with very different feelings. Yet another adjustment to make.
Work is getting used to having you back
You are a changed person when you go back to work after having a baby, and people at your work probably won’t realise it.
They’ll need to adjust to you flying out of the door for nursery pickup, or turning up looking like shite because you’ve been up 5 times in the night.
Hopefully, they’ll remember that a lot’s changed since you’ve been away and you might not be up to speed. They might need to introduce you to new people who started while you were away. They might need to help you pick up from your maternity cover.
Although you are a known quantity, it’s almost like you are a new starter when you come back, and a new starter is an adjustment for everyone.
Your partner is getting used to you being back at work
Meanwhile, there’s your partner. They’ll be getting used to the new routine too, but also the new version of you that is probably quite tired. (See above.)
With the two of you being working parents now, there’ll be even less time for life admin, and sometimes things will fall through the cracks.
See, the change and adjustment is so much more than just settling in to a new routine when you start life as a working parent. If you’re finding it hard or overwhelming – this is why!
Give yourself some grace. Order a takeaway. Spend a Sunday in your PJs. There’s enough going on right now.
Share this with anyone who needs to hear it!
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