It is a truth universally known by working parents that when you go back to work after maternity leave, your kid will get sick.
Before they do, you’ll spend a few days or possibly even weeks getting lulled into a false sense of security. The new routine of working parent life will be going well, you’ll just start to think “I’m getting the hang of this!” and then bam: the snot / cough / diarrhoea / vomit will literally hit home.
There is nothing really you can do about this. It will happen a lot. Especially if your child is going to a childcare setting for the first time and mixing with other children, new environments, and germs.
This situation might throw up (pun intended) lots of different feelings for you:
- Frustration; you were just getting into the swing of work and now this is demanding your attention instead
- Secretly pleased because you’ve been missing spending time with your kid and this gives you a good excuse to ditch work and do that instead.
- Overwhelm; “How the ruddy hell am I supposed to look after a sick kid and do any work?!”
- Resentment; “why do I have to deal with this shit automatically because I’m the mum?”
- Fear that nobody at work will understand what’s happening, they’ll think you’re just slacking and you’ll lose your job.
No judgement here – I’ve thought all of these, feel free to insert your own version here.
Thankfully, most bouts of illness are temporary and do pass. BUT I think it helps if we accept that getting through it is harrrrrrd.
When you go back to work after having a baby, sometimes there’s a temptation to stick to routine, no matter what. Push on through and ‘just keep swimming’.
When there’s illness in the household, I think the best thing to do is hunker down a bit instead and focus on getting out the other side of the germ-fest by going back to basics.
Whatever plans you had – throw them out and replace them with this simple 2 step plan:
- Prioritise sleep and rest
- Prioritise food
That’s it.
Plan how you’re going to do those 2 things. The rest can probably wait, and definitely won’t be as important as taking care of yours and your family’s health.
Think of it as a temporary bus timetable.
By replacing your original plan with this new one, you can avoid feeling like everything has gone wrong, because actually, you’ve just got a new plan, that’s all.
Prioritise sleep because everything is SO much harder when you’re tired. (Sleep deprivation is a form of torture after all). If that means spending a few nights going to bed at the same time as the kids, do it. It’s not forever.
Prioritise food because you’re going to need all the energy you can get. I’m not going to preach here about making sure you get healthy, nutritious meals to nourish you properly (although I probably should). If you can, then yes, that’s great. Otherwise, just do what you need to do. Forget the diet for a bit, don’t beat yourself up about the chocolate biscuits, and if you feel like ordering a takeaway because you’ve been up every hour listening to a child’s cough for the past 3 nights, then sod it – get the takeaway.
Go back to basics, plan to minimise the struggle, and when everyone’s feeling fitter, then you can tackle the rest of the world.
Juggle Struggle blog 